Arthur’s Too Young to Retire Streetwear Hoodie

Charlie once asked me why I hadn’t retired. I told him I were too young to retire and too broke to quit. Then he suggested I could earn a bit extra taking me clothes off. I looked down at me waistline and told him that ruled out stripping.

It weren’t meant to be a slogan, lad. It were just an honest assessment of me career options.

Some folk wear inspirational messages across their backs. Arthur prefers an honest assessment of his career options:

Too young to retire.
Too broke to quit.
Too fat to strip.

This premium heavyweight hoodie puts Arthur’s unmistakable wisdom proudly across the back. Charlie calls its relaxed fit “streetwear.” Arthur’s not entirely sure what that means, but Charlie says it’s a young person’s thing, so Arthur nodded and put kettle on.

With its soft suede-like finish and substantial fabric, it’s comfortable enough for doing nowt and smart enough for pretending tha’s got somewhere important to be.

• US-produced version: 80% organic cotton and 20% recycled polyester — “Proper soft cotton, with a bit o’ old material given another useful job.”

• European-produced version: 100% organic combed ring-spun cotton — “Smooth, comfortable and made without any unnecessary nonsense.”

• Heavyweight fabric: 10.3 oz./yd² (350 g/m²) — “Substantial enough to feel proper without wearing thee out before tha leaves the house.”

• Soft, light suede finish — “Feels far more luxurious than a hoodie has any right to.”

• Relaxed streetwear fit — “Plenty o’ room for moving about, sitting about or avoiding anything that resembles hard work.”

• Durable 2 × 2 ribbed cuffs and hem — “Helps keep everything in shape, even when tha isn’t.”

• Kangaroo pocket — “Useful for cold hands, loose change and an emergency biscuit.”

• Certified materials — organic cotton content certified under GOTS and OCS, with recycled content in applicable variants certified under GRS — “Even the fabric’s got its paperwork in order.”

• Blank product sourced from Bangladesh — “Finished with Properly Wrong character and Arthur’s career advice.”

European sizing note: This hoodie corresponds to a larger size in the European market, including the UK. European customers should order one size down.

As Arthur says: “A proper hoodie should keep thee warm, carry thy biscuits and explain why tha’s still working.”